（一）
诗人忍不住去读高等物理
获得一种不确定感
（二）
人生
苦
短
（三）
你是
一记重槌落在鼓膜上
一只手攥住心脏。“噗滋”
你是失眠的夜晚浮在我上方十分之一米处的面孔
一个我，对我的凝视
（四）
我麻醉的瞬间你稀薄
我痛苦时你致密
（五）
走错蛛网的蜘蛛
挂了
（六）
抄一首：
落山的太阳神奇的月，大饼烙好看下雪，你要抒情你就抒情，我肚子饿了我要吃大饼。
Month: October 2016
当代生活纪实
（一）
不义而富且贵，可以为人生导师矣。
（二）
想打“谢谢你们”，打成“血洗你们”。感觉不错。
（三）
你有权保持沉默，否则你所说的一切，都能够、而且将会在社交网络里作为指控你的不利证据。
（四）
遇害之后警方第一时间得出结论：“社会关系简单，排除情杀、仇杀、财杀。”
是不是比被害本身还惨，猴猴惨！
（五）
维基百科还有吴语版。
“侬啊会得话吴语？吴语是汉语族里向个一种语言，历史猴长。”
猴——吴语官方指定书面专用程度副词。
（六）
父母发现蛾子／女鹅观看限制级文艺作品的震怒，不是来自于孩子太小了，而是孩子已经不小了。
他们奋力拦截，好像黄河大决口处的沙袋。
“浪潮。爸。时代步伐不可阻挡。你们这代人完了。精神上完了。”
（七）
许多质量投诉的根本原因是相关消费者并没有在使用前问过自己这两个问题：
闺蜜含糖量多少？
男票多少钱一张？
受戒
汪曾祺的《受戒》，多年来反复看。隔段时间就会想起里面的文字：对话，白描，拟声词。忽然一天，有个从来没造成过这种“萦绕感”的句子出现在头脑里，好像一只陶埙竟然从水底慢慢浮起，发出汩汩乐声。我被深深打动——
“一九八○年八月十二日，写四十三年前的一个梦。”
这是正文之后做的交待。
六十岁的汪曾祺，写十七岁时的一个梦。
《受戒》开头两段话说：
“明海出家已经四年了。
他是十三岁来的。”
明海也是十七岁。
我向来记得那句关于梦的陈述，但从没主动去体会它的意义，直到它穿透隔膜来到我脑中。让我着迷的，不是明海与作者身份的重叠，而是梦境的永恒。
“这一串美丽的脚印把小和尚的心搞乱了。”
梦中的感觉，一旦记住，就经久不灭。时常细若游丝， 也必如雪崩再来。
我有时努力回忆某个梦的细节，从前的许多梦历历闪回，关联而各异，像流沙、潮水、湿雾，以各种形态、触感、力度将我置于其中。这让我不安：它离生活的真实很远，甚至没有可识别的面孔；它垄断了我的睡眠，现在又来侵袭我的清醒时段——从现实中抽离的体验难以抗拒。
想到汪曾祺在几十年中也没有把小和尚的心乱消磨掉，最终还要细细写来，我除了觉得可爱，也少了些不安。
不知道《受戒》里除了故事主线，还有哪些来自四十三年前的梦。有很多可能是作者对旧日实景的描写。但梦必有场景，单是情节难以构成回忆。最后一段，我愿意猜来自少年梦中。
“芦花才吐新穗。紫灰色的芦穗，发着银光，软软的，滑溜溜的，像一串丝线。有的地方结了蒲棒，通红的，像一枝一枝小蜡烛。青浮萍，紫浮萍。长脚蚊子，水蜘蛛。野菱角开着四瓣的小白花。惊起一只青桩（一种水鸟），擦着芦穗，扑鲁鲁鲁飞远了。”
斑斓，潮湿，听觉丰富，充分溶解的植物气味，温软的缠绕感。没有人，没有“我”，时间的弧度以水鸟翅膀的振动丈量。
附：《受戒》全文
无题1
看 The Sopranos, 想朗读并背诵以下台词100遍。
Dr: Do you want to tell me what you’re thinking?
T: Believe me, you don’t want to know. (Pause) You want to know what I’m thinking? Seriously? I’m thinking I’d like to take a brick and smash your fucking face into fucking hamburger.
Dr: Okay.
T: I’m not – don’t worry. I know I broke your coffee table and it’s not gonna happen again. You asked, I told.
Dr: But you’d like to smash my face.
T: Not really. It’s just the way of describing how I’m feeling.
Dr: Do you think making hamburger out of me would make you feel better?
T: Mother of Christ, is this a woman thing? You asked me how I’m feeling. I tell you how I’m feeling. And now, you’re gonna torture me with it. I don’t know who the fuck I’m angry at. I’m just angry, okay? (Pause) Why the fuck am I here? I even asked to come back. I got the world by the balls and I can’t stop feeling like I’m a fucking loser.
Dr: Who makes you feel like a loser, your mother?
T: Oh, please, we wasted enough oxygen on that one. It’s everything and everybody. I see some guy walking down the street, you know, with a clear head. You know the type. He’s always fucking whistling like the happy fucking wanderer. I just want to go up to him and I just want to rip his throat open. I want to fucking grab him and pummel him right there for no reason. Why should I give a shit if a guy’s got a clear head? I should say “a salut”, good for you.
Dr: Let’s get back to smashing my face.
T: Jesus Christ. Ahhhhh!
Dr: No, I think it all ties in!
T: Alright. Sometimes I resent you making me a victim, that’s all.
Dr: I make you feel like a victim.
T: Yeah. Remember the first time I came here? I said the kind of man I admire is Gary Cooper, the strong, silent type. And how all Americans, all they’re doing is crying and confessing and complaining. A bunch of fucking pussies. Fuck’em! And now, I’m one of them, a patient.
Dr: Your parents made it impossible for you to experience joy.
T: Yeah, see? There you go again.
Dr: You said yourself you’re not the happy wanderer.
T: Well, I’m more like one of those assholes than I am the fucking jerkoffs and douchebags I see leaving this office.
偶然听了 George Carlin 的 Life is Worth Losing 开场白，也想朗读并背诵100遍。纯粹出于贯口的感染力。
“I’m a modern man. A man for the millenium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been uplinked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high tech lo-life. A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bi-coastal multitasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I’m new wave but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hotwired, heatseaking, warmhearted cool customer, voice activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database and my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive, and from time to time I’m radioactive. Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, and pushing the envelope. I’m on point, on task, on message, and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed. I got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar. A high concept, low profile, medium range ballistic missionary. A streetwise smartbomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties; I tell power lies; I take power naps; I take victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing bigfoot, slamdunk rain maker with a pro-active outreach, a raging workaholic, a working rage-a-holic, out of rehab and in denial. I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up, you can’t dumb me down, ’cause I’m tireless and I’m wireless. I’m an alpha-male on beta-blockers. I’m a non-believer and an overacheiver, laid-back but fashion foward, up front, down home, low rent, high maintainence, supersize, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready, and built to last. I’m a hands on, footloose, knee-jerk headcase, prematurely postraumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail. But I’m feeling; I’m caring; I’m healing; I’m sharing; a supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary caregiver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk-mail; I eat junk food; I buy junk bonds; I watch trash sports. I’m gender specific, captial intensive, user friendly, and lactose intolerant. I like rough sex; I like tough love; I use the f-word in my email, and the software on my hard drive is hardcore; no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a minimall; I bought a minivan at a megastore. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I’m toll free, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes; a fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I’m a rude dude but I’m the real deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked, and ready to rock; rough, tough, and hard to bluff. I take it slow; I go with the flow; I ride with the tide; I got glide in my stride; driving and moving, sailing and spinning, jiving and grooving, wailing and winning. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy and lunchtime is crunch time. I’m hanging in, there ain’t no doubt, and I’m hanging tough, over and out.”
在 Listen to Me Marlon 里听到马龙·白兰度的自我剖白，更加爱怜（管他轮不轮得到我。）
It took me a while to realize, you gotta be your own analyst. Unless we look inwards, we will not ever be able to clearly see outwards. Nobody is born evil. Most people are simply getting over bad emotional habits established in the first ten years of their life.
在 Trespassing Bergman 里听到资深迷弟描摹英格玛·伯格曼的晚年，更加爱怜（管他轮不轮得到我。）
His cock was a big problem for him. He was constantly horny. Even as he got older and older. So we can assume that the old Bergman, and this I want you to include, sat here and masturbated like crazy. Everywhere in his monastery on Faro, in his great libraries and in his home theater. This power figure in Swedish cultural life, sat there jerking off like crazy. He has said so himself, that it was difficult to grow old and still be just as horny. So I imagine he must have masturbated a lot. Anything else is unimaginable.
哭哭。
12/04/2016 更新：
但不是将白兰度、伯格曼作为男人来爱怜，只是人，具体来讲只是作为人的某个角度。尽量不去迷恋，也不为难以产生迷恋感而疑惧。